Rewind about 6 years, at this moment in time, you’d find me knee deep, actually waist deep, in distortion after distortion, operating in huge amounts of  pain, very unhealthy coping mechanisms, and down right destructive behaviors (just to name a few. Ha) 

 

I was definitely at the point others have described as “The pain of the problem(s) is worse than the pain of the solution(s).”

I sought after real help at this point and by divine design, I met the exact trauma therapist I needed. 

I worked with him every week, for a little over three years. 

We worked on EVERYTHING, I told him literally every.single.thing I had been through, done, experienced, thought and in great detail too. Down to describing what I smelt, heard and saw….

…and we processed every.single.bit of it. He had an amazing way of validating every incident I brought up, and had a similar sense of humor as me which was again, by design. The humor aspect is a great way to cope through such intense experiences.

 

Now, I am not going to sugar coat, this was an incredibly painful, arduous process. I’d liken it to having open heart surgery (his analogy, not mine) while you’re awake, and then stopping mid-surgery, being required to get up off the table and go take care of the “daily.”

 

Tasks such  as work, kids, cleaning and cooking etc. Then after a few days, going back in to continue the surgery, for an hour or so, and doing that every week, for three years. 

 

Safe to say it isn’t something one would call “pretty.” This process for me however, brought incredible healing and just frankly taught me so incredibly much about how the mind works and what trauma can do to a person.

To be clear, I did have very extensive trauma, and I’m so grateful he was even willing to take me on as a client. After about a year after I started working with him, I had taken what is called the ACE childhood trauma test. (if you aren’t familiar, google it!) It’s only 10 questions, and I got a 10 out of 10! Ha. 

  

In this specific setting, this is not considered a great thing. To put it into perspective, I found out later that most therapists don’t really take any clients on, that are generally over a 4.  

 

During this process the father of my four children was murdered. We had been divorced for less than a year at this point, despite this fact, he was truly my best friend. 

 

So, having been a 10 on the childhood trauma scale, then being retraumatized in my adult life, by this experience as well as others, it’s safe to say despite the three years of trauma therapy, I was still going through a great deal.

 

After I had lost my kids father and my best friend, my life felt like it was up in a whirlwind. I couldn’t figure out which way was up and which way was down. Despite this, and thanks to trauma therapy, I truly was doing my best. 

 

Slowly, I worked through all of “this” and focused on making sense of things again. After much trial and error (sometimes one step forward, five steps back) I was at a place where again, I was ready to seek help and answers. 

 

I had a dear friend of mine suggest a Rapid Eye Technologist months before, at which I said something like “Yea, that’s cool, for you.” At this point this had come to my mind.  

 

So, I took the leap. I called this so-called “Rapid Eye Technician.” At this point I had no idea what that actually meant but again, I was ready. 

 

My first meeting with her is hard to describe. It was different in every way that I needed and hoped. 

I didn’t have to go into all the juicy and gorey details, if you will. It wasn’t an open heart surgery process (which I am NOT knocking, that is EXACTLY what I needed in that space and time.) 

 

This woman radiated love, safety and possibility. My first session with her we actually didn’t even do the official Rapid Eye technique. Still, the healing that occured in that session, I had never, ever experienced. 

  

I went back again, and again. I will never forget one of the first sessions in particular where I actually experienced a miracle, as I call it. 

  

I had worked with her to remove some incredibly heavy emotions, and still, I could sense there was “more.”

 

This more, I described to her in an analogy. I told her it felt like I could close my eyes and see a vast jungle, like I was looking at it from a cave on one of the tallest mountains in range.

I would look out at this vast jungle and I could tell there was a treasure box out in this jungle, somewhere deep, and I was to go find this small treasure box of information.   

That being said, she went to work. She started the Rapid Eye process and told me she had a direction to go. I was skeptical, but I was open, especially after building a rapport with her. 

  

The session began and I was shook. She knew she had found my treasure box! In a matter of minutes she had found this box of complexity and was cracking it wide open. 

 

Again, during this process, I wish not to sugar coat, I had UGLY cried almost the whole time, snot dripped down in a waterfall like fashion. Through the process so many of the words said really did hit me straight to my core. 

I also had to WORK at reframing so many of my thought patterns. 

But…. It seemed as though the things I had processed in this session, (which was about two hours, start to finish) I had processed a lifetime of specific emotions tied to very specific traumas.

It started to become more then possible to recognize these thoughts on a daily basis and was given the tools to restructure them! 

Again, a miracle.

 

 Confession, after the actual process I actually asked her how she knew. How she knew how to find the thing, the thing I couldn’t. At which point I asked her if she did in fact receive direct revelation from God/Spirit, in that exact moment, on my behalf. 

 

To which she replied something like “ I did in fact pray, before we started, to have the utmost healing take place. That being said, the process we went through, was in fact, all a script, a script as per the Rapid Eye process.”

I was floored. The type of healing that occured in that moment, felt like it was only the type of healing I had read about. 

 

Again, truly a miracle. 

  

Now, fast forward, about a year. 

I’m working my typical 9 to 5, trying to figure out what I really want to do with my life. 

 

At this point, I had been waking up early and was very dedicated to prayer and meditation time. In this process I was actively praying at what I should do.

 

I started to get strong feelings and thought about going back to school. I started to get emails about picking up where I had left off in my Marriage and Family degree, that I stopped when the trauma of losing my children’s father happened. 

 

During work I would often have down time and be able to read and take notes. I started jotting things like Neuroscience down.

  

I have always had an interest in psychology but after trauma therapy it grew exponentially. I pretty much only read mental health books. 

I knew I needed to go back to school. I called the school I had attended previously, to which no one answered. I called back several times, and started to leave a message every time I called. 

I never once heard back.

I was confused thinking this is what I needed to do. After one of my Rapid Eye sessions, I asked my tech what she thought. She had actually mentioned to me before about going to school for Rapid Eye for various reasons.

At this point, I remembered that session that again, was a miracle for me.   

So, I called the Rapid Eye institute. To say I was extremely surprised would be an understatement.  

Every single question I had was answered with ease, every worry was addressed in a manner I frankly had never experienced before.

  

During the conversation she casually said, Rapid Eye is very much neuroscience. I couldn’t believe it. Everything fit. 

At this point I realized, due to my current circumstances, the idea sounded pretty great and amazing but realistically I didn’t have the funds.

 

That night I prayed that whatever I was meant to do in my life, a path would be created for me to be able to get there. 

 

I am what can be described as a humanitarian type (fun fact I actually almost committed to traveling the world in high poverty areas to do just that.)

  

The next day was a Saturday. I started to study the materials I already had. While studying I received a call from the Rapid Eye institute. Since I was studying I had my phone on silent, I had a new voicemail from them and  it went something like this,

 

“Hey Kassandra, this is the Rapid Eye Institute,  we just had a unanimous donation and we think you should have it. It’s enough to get you started, if you are worried about funds, don’t let that be the deciding factor of whether you should attend or not, in certain cases we allow a payment method to be planned. The choice is yours, just let us know.Thanks!” 

 

I was baffled. At this point, they had no idea my worries over funds, or my current predicament. 

 

I knew this was the answer I had been waiting for, so I took the plunge!

  

Fast forward to this space and time and here I am! A Professional Rapid Eye Technician, now I get to be the one utilized as an instrument in other people’s lives. 

 

I now see such incredible value in all the traumas I experienced. It truly helps me connect to my clients and the human population in general in a way that I could have never foreseen. 

  

I can honestly say I am grateful for all the traumatic experiences and all of the things I learned along the way and continue to learn, every, single day.

 

I now have the ability to teach others some of the most instrumental tools that have ever helped me, and to be able to do that, I am quite frankly forever grateful.